Is it just me?

  Is it just me? I’m in a city not my own. A place where nothing is familiar. No friends. I feel i don’t act like all these people. I don’t believe like these people. And i sure don’t look like these people. Even my kids feel the same way. 

Is it jus me? Even when i’m in a place. A city my own. A place where all is familiar. With Friends. Social settings. Parties. Even church. I feel, I don’t act like these people. I don’t believe like these people. And yes, I sure don’t look like these people. And sadly. My kids feel the same way.

I’ve always had the self named “outsider” term attached to me, for example, on social media platforms, currently, my instagram username is @Outsider24601. Twitter, myspace, even had emails with the term outsider somewhere in there. From an early age of watching the movie “The Outsiders” i’ve always related to being an “outsider”.

What is an Outsider? To me an “outsider” is a person that is active in society, works, goes to school, church, even goes to social gatherings, and is “part” of it but “feels” he or she isn’t. He or she can be really involved, even be the main person of an event or organization, but deep within himself knows he is not fully part of it. An Outsider may know everyone by name and at the sametime not be known by the same people. Even in club settings, say in a hobbyist type club setting like weightlifting or cycling, the outsider is part of it, is involved, but there is always something that makes him feel disconnected with everyone around him, even if they are doing the same thing.

Is it just me? There’s an array of lyrics in various songs from various artists that speak on the same thing. From the Ramones’ “Outsider” to Morrissey’s “Ambitious Outsiders” songs, I feel that I am not alone.

I feel it isn’t just me. I feel if people were deeply honest with themselves, and purposely drew back to see from the “outside in” they would probably be surprised in the realization that they too are on the outside. I’m not saying this to depress anyone. But to make people aware that even in the most closest, personal, intimate settings, to feel alone, or feel like an “outsider” is actually normal. I feel we were not created, or meant to be EXACTLY like everyone else. I feel we are not meant to totally “fit in”.

I’ve felt this way all my life. How do I deal with it? To me, it’s all a matter of perception. It used to depress me. Now, I embrace it. I celebrate the slight differences that make me or others feel unique. I encourage not only myself but even others that feel the same way to know that no matter where you go, you belong there just like anyone else. Whatever you do, you have the ability and power within to do the task just as good as the next person. And whoever you are, you have a right to be and look and feel and act, just like the next person. There are no superstars in the world we live in. It is our world as well.

So. Is it just me? No. It’s not just me. Although at times…. It feels like it.

Ride interrupted.

So I finally took a rest and now i’m feeling great! I saw that the sun was nice and the weather even nicer, so I decided to take a lil 20ish mile ride.
This is one of 8 bikes that I have in my arsenal of bikes… I name all my bikes, this one is named Loretta. (Yes after Loretta Lynn and yes, I love her music.)

The first 5 miles was great. It seemed like I was going to have a good training ride, but after the five miles, I have to admit, I just wasn’t feeling like “hitting it hard”. I have to be real with you, my fellow bloggers, I was feeling interrupted with current stresses at work, and I was struggling with turning off my thoughts. After about  another couple miles of the ride I decided to just go at whatever pace I was comfortable with and “enjoy the ride”. Once my ego, invisible trainer, and my overly obsessive about getting a good workout mind was put to rest, I decided to ride a route I haven’t done in awhile and give ya’ll a lil tour!

This pic below is of the second largest port in the world, the Los Angeles/Long Beach Port. This is where all our imports and exports take place. The bridge in the back is called the Vincent Thomas Bridge and the dock behind the palm trees is where all the cruise lines set sail out of. It’s also where old 80’s show “The Love Boat” was filmed…okay, I’ve aged myself.

The Next pic below is a place what us locals in San Pedro, California know as Sunken City. Years ago, there were shops and streets at the very point that i’m standing taking this picture. But from what I heard is it all fell to the ocean in a landslide and from what i’ve also heard is that you can actually see the remains of storefronts and streets underwater…I’ve never tried it, I’ll just take their word for it:) In the far left of the pic below is Long Beach.

Here’s another pic of Sunken City..It’s hard to make it out in the picture, but all the cement broken up there is the actual sidewalk of the city that was once there…pretty cool and sad.

So as I went about my way towards the route I usually take to get up to the “tippy top” (that’s what we call it) of the hill of Palos Verdes, my ride was ruuuuudely interrupted with this!

Turns out that there are more landslides happening in the area! Just last year about a 100 yards of this very street fell to the ocean without warning…pretty scary stuff! And yes, I probably will not ride there anymore! LOL

I turned around, well I was forced to turn around and I just continued the ride, I was enjoying it, just riding and thinking about stuff and enjoying being out. i really wasn’t paying attention to speed or distance, I just wanted to enjoy! Which I did!

I found this Lego character my boys made me in my jacket. I love skulls, so of course they hooked daddy up! I decided to mess around and take these cool pics of this character as I was standing looking over the cliff. I probably shot a good 10 of them. I was excited to show the kiddies when I got home… I think I want to take this guy around everywhere I go, so I can take a pic of him and send it to my kids so they know I’m thinking of them when I’m out!

As I was heading back, I could see the Korean Friendship Bell up top of the hill… I decided to give it a lil climb, because it’s been years since I’ve visited this famous tourist attraction. It was really cool, and of course I had to get  a pic in there!

This last photo overlooks about 10 miles of what I covered…

It was a good ride…I finally felt at peace with my thoughts, and I seemed to get direction in regards to what I was stressing about. I haven’t had a ride like this in awhile. I’m usually trying to “go hard and go crazy”, but today, I was perfectly fine with being interrupted.

Finally.

I finally took a rest day!!! Yahoooooooo…now, I have NOTHING to doooooo! I guess I’ll write rhymes…LOL

I have to admit, I didn’t mind taking a rest day, it was cool to break the monotony of goin’ goin’ GOIN’, but it sucked feeling like I had nothing to do! Seemed like the day was dragging…it seemed like I was draggin’! Coffee PLEASE!

Monday through Friday, I usually get my workout with our lunch break workout crew, but today both designers I work with took the day off, so I was flying solo. So it kinnnnda worked out. I didn’t want to fall behind on our projects while I took off to workout, so I cancelled on everyone. Good Choice on my part, the least I can say is I was able to take care of a whole lot, so at least I know I don’t have to think about work alllll weekend. yay!

All in all I know I will benefit physically and even mentally for taking the rest day and thank you all for all the encouragement for me to take one!

Also, THANKS RYAN for RUBBING IT IN MY FACE that you got a grrreat run (i do have to say) in!!! Now that’s an AWESOME PACE,

and that’s an  AWESOME FACE!

haha I told you I should write rhymes!

Giddy & Happy at todays workout.

Been killing it on the legs as of late, so for today’s lunch break workout I planned a burner for
upper body.

7 Stations / 45 seconds each station / 5 seconds rest between / 5 rounds

Stations were:

– Push ups

– Jump Rope

– 45/lb plate curl to press to tricep extension

– Ball Slammers to gallop to ball slammers (there were two medicine balls about 7 feet apart, you slam one to the ground, gallop to the other and slam that one, keep repeating til timer goes off)

– 50 lb plank row with push up between each alternating row

– 20 lb dumbell raises

– Mountain Climbers

This workout was oh so good but oh so painful… Have I mentioned today was my 10th day straight of working out?…uggg I will get rest soon, I promise!

Had some Ladies that I haven’t worked out with in awhile show up, it was great to see them killing it today…yay!

(Yes they got modified weights for lifting LOL) They surrrre do look giddy & happy aye?!

Giddy & happy turned to thirsty after the 1st round.

Our champ Ryan waiting/contemplating/thinking of going for the 2nd round…LOL

Here he goes! Good form I must say…

J doin’ the darn thing! You go girl… I kept tellin’ them to “try and break that ball!”…they didn’t LOL

Is Garrett doing yoga or Mountain climbers??? Okay, I’ll go easy on him, he just came back from being sick for a week…Good job Garrett!

Poor Yano…. Okay, I told him I was going to say in this pic that he quit on push ups, but what reeeally happened in this pic is that when he just finished smashing out 20 I just happened to turn his way and snap a picture. He was getting ready to get back down and do some more, but I teased him and said “nope, your getting the quittage shot!” haha so, for the record, HE WAS KILLING IT TODAY! (There Yano, redemption for ya!)

30 minutes later with ending the workout with 8 minutes straight of various abs…THIS is what giddy & happy looks like! Good job guys & gals!

Never miss your Monday workout!

Yes! Got a comp day off from work today for pulling an all day/ nighter on my last project. I guess working hard pays! Now i get play:)

I dropped the kids off to school at 8am, went back home and SLEPT ’til 1145am… I haven’t slept in like that for awhile…it must have been the latenight Disneyland run with the kids and then ending up at a Ramen House til 10 pm that wiped me out. Okay, I have to be honest, I did stay up late and watched a crazy gang doncumentary on netfix til about 1am:/ (i was intrigued! LOL)

When i woke up, my first thought was that I wasted my day, and I started to feel regret, but then I forced myself to think that REST IS GOOD, so I went on with my “not so morning” morning, took a shower, cooked a quick bite and was going to either shop for some new running shoes or go to the bike shop and look for some roof racks.

But as I was heading out the door, I saw how nice it was outside and thought..hmmm it would have been nice to ride or get a nice run in. I looked at the time, I only had 2 hours to spare because I promised the kids I’d pick them up from school and take them bowling. What to do?! I really wasn’t sure what to do ‘cuz I was already showered and dressed and ready to hit the door?!
Then I had a thought, one thing i always seem to say to those I’ve trained in the past….”Never miss your Monday workout!” So I shut the door, brewed a quick cup of coffee out of the Keurig and ran upstairs to change into my running gear.

I ran 10 miles Saturday, took a day off Sunday, so I decided to run an easy paced 3 miler to start my week.

It was a nice sunny 65ish BUT with lots of WIND!

It was soooo darn windy as you saw in the pic with the flags, that it turned my hair into some Bieber look or something! LOL

The run was great, was feeling good. I learned from the last run (my last post) that running with music I love to sing along with is the best bet to distract me from over thinking my form, so I threw the whole “Smiths” album on:) (I do want to get back to training without music, but I will settle for this right now.)
Seems like this route has a bunch of American Flags on it! Go ’emerica!

We just got alot of rain so now it looks like I was running on some cool trail, don’t let the pic fool ya! Lol

Home stretch and feeling good!

So I get back home, shut my Strava App off and while I’m stretching I discover I ran a tad longer than I planned to…yay me!

I’m now pleasantly surprised.

I finish stretching, still feeling pumped, I run upstairs, shower, make me a protein shake and have 30 minutes to spare before i pick the kiddies up! Success!

This day has truly been one of the best days off I’ve had. I rested, I ran and ended it with seeing 2 hours of this:

And of course my kiddies got to experience me handlin’ business like a boss!:)

It’s never too late to learn…

I had a great day at the office… Some of you may already know that i’m a Graphic Designer/Art Director, but what you don’t know is that i’m not ashamed to admit that I’m probably the most non-techy person that sits behind a keyboard.

Yes i do graphics, emails, facebook, instagram even wordpress, but anything outside of that, I’m pretty brain dead.

It wasn’t ’til recent events that my friend/ graphic designer Joe Chavez (Thanks Joe!) started inspiring me to learn and push more. If there is one thing I notice about my buddy Joe, is that when he’s faced with a challenge, especially in the field of graphics or web, he hits it straight on and learns, researches and figures it out! I have to admit, that got fire under my butt to learn or even show an interest in learning what I seemed to avoid the most, which is web basics.

Let me tell you, i’ve been doing this stuff for roughly 13 years, I’m pretty comfortable as an artist and art director. I started adopting the thought of “hey, I dont need to know it all to be the director…thats what i have people working under me for..” boy was I wrong.  A recent turn of events happened where I design,  where we are under new management and now it seems that we have to start “showin’ our stuff”.  Yeah I can say, design-wise i am up for the challenge, but in the area of web or anything that has to do with code/html, linking files or making things interactive I didn’t have any confidence. Today that all changed.

We were a tad slow today, so I committed to spend an hour with Joe and sit and learn about the basics of creating HTML files.

At first, it felt like my brain was melting, and then all of a sudden, It all started coming together. Joe introduced me to the world of dreamweaver, ftp’s, and online linking, I was excited to learn and even more than that, I was excited that I actually understood how to do it!

All I have left to say is now I feel I have much more to offer in addition to offering graphics. I also feel hungry and curious to learn more and more and to see where this can lead me in the future. This excites me because it’s another thing added to my arsenal to better serve those that come my way. I’m happy because today, learning something new, has opened up my mind to the fact that it really isn’t too late to learn, and it’s too early to stop learning.