Is it just me? I’m in a city not my own. A place where nothing is familiar. No friends. I feel i don’t act like all these people. I don’t believe like these people. And i sure don’t look like these people. Even my kids feel the same way.
Is it jus me? Even when i’m in a place. A city my own. A place where all is familiar. With Friends. Social settings. Parties. Even church. I feel, I don’t act like these people. I don’t believe like these people. And yes, I sure don’t look like these people. And sadly. My kids feel the same way.
I’ve always had the self named “outsider” term attached to me, for example, on social media platforms, currently, my instagram username is @Outsider24601. Twitter, myspace, even had emails with the term outsider somewhere in there. From an early age of watching the movie “The Outsiders” i’ve always related to being an “outsider”.
What is an Outsider? To me an “outsider” is a person that is active in society, works, goes to school, church, even goes to social gatherings, and is “part” of it but “feels” he or she isn’t. He or she can be really involved, even be the main person of an event or organization, but deep within himself knows he is not fully part of it. An Outsider may know everyone by name and at the sametime not be known by the same people. Even in club settings, say in a hobbyist type club setting like weightlifting or cycling, the outsider is part of it, is involved, but there is always something that makes him feel disconnected with everyone around him, even if they are doing the same thing.
Is it just me? There’s an array of lyrics in various songs from various artists that speak on the same thing. From the Ramones’ “Outsider” to Morrissey’s “Ambitious Outsiders” songs, I feel that I am not alone.
I feel it isn’t just me. I feel if people were deeply honest with themselves, and purposely drew back to see from the “outside in” they would probably be surprised in the realization that they too are on the outside. I’m not saying this to depress anyone. But to make people aware that even in the most closest, personal, intimate settings, to feel alone, or feel like an “outsider” is actually normal. I feel we were not created, or meant to be EXACTLY like everyone else. I feel we are not meant to totally “fit in”.
I’ve felt this way all my life. How do I deal with it? To me, it’s all a matter of perception. It used to depress me. Now, I embrace it. I celebrate the slight differences that make me or others feel unique. I encourage not only myself but even others that feel the same way to know that no matter where you go, you belong there just like anyone else. Whatever you do, you have the ability and power within to do the task just as good as the next person. And whoever you are, you have a right to be and look and feel and act, just like the next person. There are no superstars in the world we live in. It is our world as well.
So. Is it just me? No. It’s not just me. Although at times…. It feels like it.